Upon his visit to the doctor, an alcoholic says, "Boy, ya know Doc, I haven't been feeling well lately."

"Really? Well, let's give you an exam," says the doctor.

So, after a rather long and thorough exam, the doctor tells the alkie, "I'm so sorry Mr. Smith, but I'm afraid that you only have ten days to live."

"TEN DAYS!" cried Mr. Smith. "Ten days. My God Doc, isn't there anything I can do?" "What if I stop drinking?"

"Well there is one thing you could try..." says the Doctor.

"Anything! Anything - what is it?" pleads the drunk.

"Well, you could go down to the beauty parlor and get a mud pack every day."

Somewhat surprised by the answer, he replies, "Really Doc, will that really help?"

"Well no, not really," says the doctor. "But, it may get you used to dirt."