Recovery Lane
Wisdom for Today
I remember the first time I was asked to share my story at a meeting. I was absolutely terrified. I recalled all those speech classes in High School and how nervous I was. When my sponsor asked me to speak at an open meeting; I really wanted to say no, but the word "sure" came out of my mouth. In the day and a half before I was to speak, I sat and thought about what I would say. I really didn't think I had much to offer and was sure that I would make a fool of myself. Hours before the meeting I was sick to my stomach. I called my sponsor and was going to beg out of the responsibility. My sponsor listened to me for a moment and then cut me off. "Talk to your HP and I will see you at the meeting," he said.
So I did talk to God and I asked for the words I needed to say. I asked for the strength and the courage I needed to make it through the next few hours. The meeting began in its usual way and then I was introduced. My mouth was dry and I could not swallow. I could feel beads of sweat on my forehead. I introduced myself and my mind went blank. All the thoughts I had for my talk left my mind. I don't recall much of the rest that I said that night, but I stood there for nearly forty-five minutes sharing. After the meeting many friends in the program and even some I did not recognize came up to me and made statement about how genuine my talk was and how it had been from my heart. Some shared how much it had helped them. No I don't remember what I shared, but I learned a lot about how God would help me and that sharing honestly from the heart was all I needed to do. When I speak at meetings are my comments from the heart?
Meditations for the Heart
In the Lord's Prayer there is a line that goes, "Thy will be done." This is a most important line in this prayer for an alcoholic or an addict. My understanding of this line in this prayer has changed dramatically over time. At first these were words that I simply said, but really did not pay much attention to. Over time I began to pay more attention to these words. The steps really forced me to look at them closer. There were times that I really appreciated these words and there have been times that I have rebelled against these same words. In those times of rebellion, I simply wanted to be back in charge, I wanted to run the show again. Other times when I really appreciated these words, it became clear to me that I had no idea what I was doing and I needed help. As I have grown in recovery I have repeated these words often. Over time I have worded hard to grow in the acceptance of these words. When I have honestly tried to do His will and humbly accepted the results, I have found myself to be happier, at peace, and secure in my recovery. Do I seek to do God's will in all that I do?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day is just beginning and I know that I must start this day with Your Will being first on my list. Give me the courage and the strength I need this day to follow where You lead me. Let me seek this day to be honest, open and willing to move forward in the direction You lead me. Let me seek to follow You in all areas of my life this day.
Amen
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