500 Lambda Circle, Apt A, Wernersville, PA 19565 

Helping Those Who Need It Most - One Day At A Time

Cleaning Up

True story

When things were getting really bad, I found a couple of guys to room with me to help save on expenses. One of them even had his daughter move in with us. There we were, three drunks and a heroin addict. We all went about our daily routines but showed up in the evening to party together.

It wasn't long when the place became a pig-sty. Everything became filthy. None of us were cleaning the place and it just got worse and worse. So one day, when I went to the store, in addition to the two
cases of beer, I bought some coffee, some cooking oil, potato chips and some Mr. Clean cleaning fluid.

That night, I was home alone as the others were out partying somewhere. I proceeded to get good and drunk and then decided I was going to clean the place up a bit. I went to the closet and got a bucket and reached into the cabinet and pored in some cleaning fluid. I washed the floor and I picked up the place.

The next morning, my friends were back, passed out on the couch or in their room. I fixed some coffee and noticed that the floor was still wet. The coffee was done so I poured a half a cup and filled it up the rest of the way with brandy. Later my room mates got up and followed my lead. Each was happy to see I had cleaned up the place.

The next day the floor was still wet. I figured it was just because we lived in a basement flat. Two more days passed and the floor was still wet. My friend said he knew someone who could help. He called this woman and she came over. It seems she was very superstitious. She convinced all of us that the floor was not drying because of "evil" spirits in the place. Of course, we were all wasted.

She began to chant these sayings, I'm not even sure what language she was speaking. She started to dance around and then knocked over a table with my beer on it. I got angry and kicked everyone out of the place. I continued to drink for a while and then did some coke. I was fed up with everyone and the world. I was really pissed off that the floor looked so bad. All that moisture and the dirt of our shoes had made a real mess.

So, once again I got out the bucket to wash the floor. I opened the cabinet only to see that the bottle of Mr. Clean was unopened and the bottle of cooking oil was half empty. Guess what I did. That's
right, I checked into detox.